Guys Who Only Play Dave Matthews or Jack Johnson Songs On Guitar

During every get together or hang-out session that involves at least one female mixed in with a group of more than three guys; one man is guaranteed to pull out a guitar, talk about how good he is then go into playing a Dave Mathews Band song. This shouldn’t exist. Someone re-creating a Dave Mathews song is equivalent to someone trying to re-enact a Nicolas Cage scene from National Treasure 2, no matter how close to the actual real version you get, it’s still a Dave Mathews song and it’s still Nicolas Cage. The art of improvising a cool blues lick and jamming with a pentatonic scale or showing off a song you just wrote has whittled away to the lame-ass white boy sounds of “Satellite,” and “Ants Marching.” In recent years, Jack Johnson’s songs have found their way into this deplorable display of annoyance. Although, Johnson’s music is nowhere near the level of lameness as Mathews, it still finds a way to annoy everyone in the room but the actual asshole playing it. While the other men in the room angrily watch the douche bag run through ‘'Flake,'’ for the 200th time with disgust, they must accept the fact that this douche bag playing the songs will in fact be the only one who gets laid that night.