Celebrities with Their Own Fashion Line or Cologne

Somewhere in the cycle of celebrity culture it was deemed popular to create a fashion line that features some trendy name like L.A.M.B. or Twenty 8 Twelve and sell it as designed by an annoying celebrity such as Jennifer “Won’t you be my 10^th husband” Lopez or that girl from The Hills. Not only does this force the general public into having to see advertisements featuring the given celebrity, it also forces young, easily influenced teens into wearing horrendous clothes that do nothing more but advertise for the celebrity.

This shameful insult towards fashion and society was manageable until the invention of celebrity cologne. The biggest offenders include Tim McGraw and Paris Hilton. I mean what would Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s cologne smell like? My guess is sweaty gasoline mixed with cigarettes and a bottle of herpes cream. Little actual work is put into making the celebrity cologne smell appeasing or at least, not like a gas station in rural Texas. It has been theorized that celebrities get the liquids for their products from the tainted extra formulas at the Old Spice factory and the left over grease from Hardee's. 

Since American culture is obsessed with celebrity and will buy anything endorsed by one, (See: Tigers Woods and absolutely any product thrown at him that’s wrapped in money) I would like to suggest some other products that celebrities might want to endorse: Fall Out Boy Tampons (Tag line: "They're going to suck anyways, at least they'll suck in a fun place."), Brad Pitt Condoms (Tag Line: "Because it's Who Your Girlfriend Will Be Thinking About!), Sean Hannity Bull-Shit Detectors (Tag Line: "The King Of Bullshit Will Help You Detect It.") and Barack Obama's Presidential Used Toilet Paper (Tag Line: "Come on, You Know You'd Buy Any Shit This Dude Throws Out There."). Look for Mike Huckabee's Creepy Eye Contact Lenses at a optometrist near you! (Note: Muke Huckabee's Creepy Eye Contact Lenses will be only sold to straight-white-christian males of the middle to upper class.)